Finding the Highs in the Lows

Unfortunately, I've found myself in another mental slump, wondering about my future. General small animal practice? Small animal emergency room work? Small animal internship and critical care residency? All these options, plus affording horses and student loans, have gotten me really emotionally drained and stressed. I wish I could say that horses could wait a year or four or five while I pursue a residency, but I am not a happy person without horses. My mental balance is already frazzled and delicate, and when I take horses out of the equation, well... we've read about it on the blog. I'm devastated. All this means is that I have to make sure that whatever I do next year, I can support riding at least in lessons, if not support 2 horses, somehow. Is it a bad idea? Yep. Is it what I'll need to push through whatever the next year has in store? Absolutely.

In the meantime, I've been trying to focus on the good. Yesterday- Alabama was stunning. A warm 75 degree day, sunny, a slight breeze- it was like a spring day in my Kentucky home. I took Lexie on a hack and did a handful of trot sets for her first day back in work in over a week. Because of the clinic, her stifles swelled up and became inflamed; I spent the last week cold hosing her and grooming her until the inflammation goes down. My trainer, H, and I both agree that she needs to up her fitness before and if we ask her to jump that high that hard again. The trot sets were beautiful, and her canter was amazing out in the field. It gave me a minute to take a deep breath and actually become content with where I am in life.

And she's so darn cute.

Today- well... we're trying a new evasion while jumping. Running at top speed with our head in the air like a giraffe didn't make Lexie's job easier, so now we peanut roll and open our mouth while running at top speed. Today was a "Booty Boot Camp". Trot and canter poles, cavalettis, and grids- all aimed at strengthening her muscles supporting her stifles. She loves her grids, though, so that was her reward today for a lesson attempted: 4 verticals with 2 strides in between all of them.

We may play musical bits in the future- from what I've heard about her past, she likes a hackamore, but is a bit of a freight train (surprise). I have a single jointed rubber dee I'd like to try her in, and the Ogilvy (!!) is on the way.

Getting to the barn has been what's been pushing me through a surprisingly difficult rotation; Candy is looking stiffer and grey-er and it hurts my heart.

I'm growing his mane out for the full Andalusian effect.

 But between rides like yesterday where everything clicks, and every day spent with Candy, I can't complain too much; I am a very lucky girl- I get to do what I love while studying for a career I will enjoy once I get there.

Remembering the good in the bad keep me going.

- K & C & L